SEX EDUCATION AND SEXUAL GOALS

Most of us have not had anything even close to an appropriate education when it comes to sex. By placing stress on the mundane practices of intercourse and less emphasis on the pleasure of sexual activity and creating and meeting sexual goals. Whether you had schooling on reproduction consequences, sexually transmitted illnesses, what they are, how to prevent them, and other related topics- it simply did not cover the key bases. On the other hand, society has placed a norm on concentrating on a specific goal—namely, the orgasm, and even more so, the male orgasm or ejaculation—whether it was introduced to us directly or indirectly. This “sex education” is not an education because the reason behind its development was to use a dated, patriarchal perspective and archaic, fear-based methods.

COMMUNICATION ABOUT SEXUAL GOALS, DESIRES, AND EXPERIENCES

In this so-called “sex education,” there has not been adequate room to add lessons about sex communication. It includes expressing that you have not had an orgasm but desire one or do not want one. You also learn your body through time and communicate on what you know brings you pleasure. Finding the identity to ask these questions to yourself and eventually communicate them to meet your needs. Additionally, learning to be curious or inquire about a partner’s enjoyment can enrich the overall experience for all parties. Understanding and learning from previous encounters is key to reaching a climax, but communication will consistently improve your experience. If it does not, then it will at least provide a perspective that the current sexual encounter is not the one for you.

A PLEASURE-ORIENTED APPROACH

Yes, some specific types of intercourse can result in procreation, but most sex is about desire and pleasure rather than procreation. The heterosexual world can learn from LGBT people in this area.

Compared to heterosexual couples, the number of orgasms experienced by women in same-sex relationships “skyrockets.” There is nothing to prove when you are with a same-sex partner; it is about what feels good, and that is when naturally, more orgasms and pleasure occur. You can be more experimental when you do not have strict, “finish-line-driven” sex goals to control your sexual encounters.

Here, we are talking about pleasure-focused sex. It shifts attention away from the idea that sex is primarily about reproduction and is sex-positive. Additionally, it turns the emphasis from an outcome to the present, emphasizing building pleasure whether an orgasm occurs or not. Orgasms are amazing, but how can you increase satisfaction throughout rather than just at the end?

Sex Is Not a Performance

Overview

People who have suffered hyperarousal, diminished desire, premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, delayed ejaculation, and anxiety may find some symptom relief by switching to pleasure-oriented sex. In the past, people have typically referred to sexual tension as “performance anxiety.” Sex does not always have to be a performance, though. During sex, a person ideally enters the world of pleasure to achieve whole-body enjoyment and sensation. Instead of making the process a lived experience, it intellectualizes it. The enjoyable experience is now dissociated from when the analyzing self takes control.